The Palinite: “There was a report* that four hundred and seventy five illegal felons voted for Franken.”

The Paulite: “But that wouldn’t matter; that was a landslide!”

The Palinite: “Yup…”

The Paulite: “They can’t throw him out of office…”

The Palinite: [triumphantly] “That makes him an illegitimate Senator.”

* The report is from a conservative group and was trumpeted on Fox. This article does a good job of dissecting the supposed findings.

Then there was the time The Paulite went on a rant about food and the law.

The Paulite: “I tell my kids that salt is like a drug. It’s addictive and has harmful effects on your body.”

Then there was the time The Paulite went on a rant about food and the law.

The Paulite: “They want to be able to tell you what’s OK to eat, and what’s not OK to eat.”

The Paulite: “We claim to have ownership of property in this country, but we don’t own anything. The Government owns it, and they assert eminent domain over everything in the universe.”

The Palinite: “Just try to step on to my property! It’s up to you to defend your property, not the Government’s.”

Keep in mind that both of them work for a local government.

When The Palinite says something is “scientifically proved” it’s clear he has no idea what he’s talking about. Like just now, when he said that it’s “scientifically proven” that guns don’t kill people.

The Palinite: “It’s worse than that! They want to make it so if you order salt in a restaurant, they get to add a 25 cent surcharge. It’s just a revenue-enhancement thing.”

The Palinite: “The whole question about if treaties trump the Constitution came up again, because ol’ Hillary is working on getting some gun control by treaty.”

The Paulite: “Oh, see?! That’s exactly what I was talking about!”

The Paulite: “Everything in Australia has to go through a central filter. That’s what they want to do here… if they’re not doing it already.”

The Paulite: “Don’t you get the idea that the government has run amuck, and is being run by lunatics?” (the government employee said)

Geography is hard. The Palinite just confused Somalia and American Samoa.